When Covid-19 Came to Stay. Part two. — Amanda banham Ceramics

After I finished writing my previous blog post last night at half past midnight I crept out of the house and walked the dogs round the town. There wasn’t a single person about, not surprising as it was 12.30am on a Wednesday but everything just looked so dark and closed. I had a tear for all the shops and restaurants and cafes and scuttled off back home to bed.

We woke with a start at 8.30am. I shot out of bed like a rocket much to Matts confusion…… I had arranged to leave the dogs in the garden so that my next door neighbour could take them and walk them at 8.30am…. Had I missed her ….. was their chance of a walk doomed…..? I dashed downstairs in my pj’s and shoved the half asleep dogs in the garden whilst phoning Sheila who said she would be there in ten minutes. When Sheila arrived with her dog Anna and I stood behind the glass door and waved and Sheila took Jane, who couldn’t wait to get out of the gate, and Daisy who looked really reluctant and had to be slightly dragged…..

I then went to empty the kiln with gloves of all the kids Mothers day gifts from school pottery club. My brother in law was kindly transporting it to school for me and it had to be in the Corona-Shed (as my clay store shed in the driveway is now known) by 9.30am. Anna also had to be at her “desk” for virtual school on the ipad and as she was now temperature free there was no excuse!

As a family we are always up by 6.30am - Matt even earlier and I felt really confused about how late in the day it was and how even though we didn’t have to BE anywhere or even walk the dogs we were already late!! I had had a good nights sleep which is unusual for me ( probably peri-menopause symptoms) but I had a cracking headache and felt “hungover” which seemed really unfair as we haven’t had any alcohol for days.

Anna was installed at virtual school. Matt was on his computer in the lounge although still looked quite tired and was coughing…. I decided in my infinite wisdom that Elliott needed to be up and showered and dressed as “You always feel better when you are up and dressed.'“ as my parents would say…… I banged on the door and nagged and cajoled but he wouldn’t get up… “ Whats the point?” He said “ I don’t need to be anywhere.'“ Both valid points but both sent me into a panic - had he slipped into a depression because he couldn’t go out and see his friends?

I had quickly moved on from yesterdays panic about “Had We Done Something Wrong?” as my inbox on Instagram and emails was absolutely bulging with people saying “Actually, having read your blog I think we have HAD C19 and we didn’t really realise it a few weeks ago….” So I think there are thousands of people walking around who have had it and didn’t self isolate and loads of people who have it now but are in the early stages of ACHING MUSCLES AND LUNGS and NO SENSE OF TASTE.

The morning moved on, I was online for a lot of it answering emails and Instagram messages about the previous blog which I am so glad has helped so many of you…. although we are not out of the woods yet!

It was raining so I couldn’t even walk round our tiny garden so I consoled myself with tidying up the studio and deciding which of my “seconds” could be reglazed and refired to improve their look…..

Even though we aren’t feeling our best, we are tired and today I have had a headache all day and my chest hurts, I have still felt as if I haven’t got enough hours in the day! Possibly due to my extended lie in and also to do with the lethargy that C19 appears to bring. I think I may, as usual, been “putting a brave face on it all” and just trying to carry on as normal as I abhor wasting time. But I am tired.

This afternoon my Mum attempted to come round and sign some forms that needed signing. Actually she didn’t intend to come and do that when she first came round. She initially shoved a letter through the letterbox and ran away.

This is not the first time she has run away from me in a compromising position - in fact the last time was just shy of 18 years ago when I was having a home birth with my son Elliott. I had Matt with me and two lovely midwifes and I didn’t need my Mum to be there lets just make that clear. I know Mum does not enjoy anything “medical” in any way shape or form. But there I was in labour in the lounge of our cottage and Mum knocked on the door…… Rosie the midwife opened the door a crack and peered round the door…. “Hello?’ She said to Mum….. “Amanda is a bit busy at the moment.” Rosie went on. “I Know” Mum would have probably theatrically stage whispered “I’m her Mum.” Rosie flung open the door “Oh her Mum! DO you want to come and be with her?” Mum looked absolutely horrified and thrust a bag at Rosie “ NO!” she practically shouted “ HERE IS A CHEESE ROLL.” and she RAN off up the road……. Rosie came in bemused to me and said “ I think that was your Mum? She threw a cheese roll at me and ran away.'“ I laughed “ Oh yes that was her…”

So this afternoon after Matt spied her shoving a letter through the door I knew we had to act fast….. “Matt, quick call her back!!! I need her to sign something…” Matt flung open the door causing the dogs to go into frenzy of excitement at the prospect of fresh air….. “ Sylvia!” He shouted vainly looking left and right…… Mums head popped out from behind her car “Hello” Matt beckoned her towards the house whilst I waved the paperwork at her….. I put it on the front step with a pen and stepped back into the hallway whilst Mum approached “Hello!” She shouted even though I was literally 6ft away. I waved. Mum, age 77, but very fit and dynamic and clearly not adept at self isolation, lent over and crouching on our front steps signed the forms chirping “I will wash my hands as soon as I get home!!” She then stood up a good 8ft away and said “ Right, er, Cheerio,” and dashed off to her waiting car and sped off up the road. I suddenly felt like crying. I couldn’t even hug my Mum. I couldn’t even invite her in for a cup of tea. I couldn’t even think of anything to say because I had been shut in for days and hadn’t done anything. Miserable.

Throughout the day at times I cant pinpoint as without the structure of dog walks the day becomes a bit of a blur, I have had several phone calls. These days we are so good at pinging texts and whats apps we hardly remember to call each other. My sister is really good at phone calls, she is better at those than texts as I always feel she is cross with texts as they are so abrupt with no emojis.

However her phone calls are warm and expansive and she shared with me everything she had done that day including running group with my sister in law which I have ideas about joining when I join the real world again….. Suzie told me there wasn’t a dog food shortage in Waitrose in Saffron Walden as I had been discussing the dog food shortage in Eastbourne with my friend Julia earlier. She did try and buy us some bread flour but there wasn’t any in Waitrose which is a shame as making a loaf every day has been great for Anna.

I also had a phone call from my friend Liz who talked me round Waitrose as she tried to find something on the empty shelves for her families tea. It was interesting, if alarming to hear how little was there day after day…. where is everyone putting all this food!!? And the shelves are restocked every morning so why do people feel the need to keep stock piling?

Matt and I were making a cup of tea in the kitchen lamenting our lack of sense of taste and the loveliest sound of Annas flute playing wafted down from upstairs. It sounded so ethereal and surreal and was definitely my favourite part of the day. It has been interesting to see how we are all getting along with our “new normal” in the house…….

Elliott suddenly appeared and quite cheerfully informed me he had taken part in two online lectures at college and was feeling absolutely fine now so could he go for a walk? I felt awful having to explain that at present in the middle of the day he couldn’t go for a walk. He went away and I went back to looking at Instagram where I saw the ‘stories” of my long time Instagram friend Nancy ( @avocadofairy) who sadly has a brain tumour. She was explaining that her essential chemotherapy has been stopped for the time being due to the fact that the intensive care beds at the hospital she attends are all full and the surgeons are needed for the C19 patients. If that doesn’t make you stay at home if you have any symptoms I don’t know what will.

Anna and I had started a project yesterday for her “new” bedroom. Before all this started we had planned to redecorate Annas bedroom this Easter to make her room more suitable for her as she begins secondary school this September. Anna’s plan is to have all the walls white except for one wall which she would like dark blue and adorned with these little clouds which are filled with lavender.

We are aiming to sew one each every afternoon whilst in isolation……

Matt and I have both lost our sense of taste and smell. I lost mine on Saturday and it has been the most frustrating thing for me throughout this episode. I assumed it was part of the whole C19 package when Matt lost his and was proved right this evening when Matt “googled it” and found out that Nadine Dorries has also lost her sense of taste and smell and also experienced the extreme muscle aches that we have had and SHE HAS BEEN TESTED so by proxy as we share all her symptoms we are now sure what we have is Covid-19.

Today has not been physically as easy as yesterday for me. I have had pains in my lungs and a headache most of the day and I have felt tired. I am really fed up about not having any sense of smell or taste. I think a lot of these ailments would be solved by a good long dog walk but I can’t do this at present and should probably be kinder to myself and actually rest rather than trying to “use my time productively” and keep up my normal frantic work pace. I still think our symptoms are relatively mild which is fortunate but I think even I have to admit I am not feeling my best. I think I have been trying to keep the mindset that if I carry on regardless as if everything is normal I will come out the other side and seamlessly go back into normal life. But I think even I have to admit that is a long shot……

Elliott reappeared an hour or so after I had explained he was still confined to the house to ask for some more yarn for his darning project…… I was so happy to see how adaptable he was at finding something else to do and immerse himself happily into it.

For dinner Matt cooked a chicken curry which now only Elliott could taste. Anna has lost her sense of taste too…… I am now looking at that as progress although I won’t be happy until Nadine Dorries ( or we) get our sense of taste BACK!

I will update you on further developments tomorrow. Off to creep round the streets with the dogs before bed……